JOE KNIGHT CRISIS: DAY EIGHT

A preview of my appearance on this evening's Nancy Grace:

Tonight, breaking news in the latest missing persons case to captivate a nation: the strange and sudden disappearance of Joe Knight, leading scorer for the Lehigh Mountain Hawks. Our featured guest will be Matt B, angry internet blogger and founding CEO of the PatriotLeagueHoops.com empire.

Good evening Nancy. May I just say I'm a big fan of the show and find your exploitation of middle American tragedy to be very impressive and in no way offensive.

Thank you. Mr. B, the internet seems to be aflame with rumors about Knight's disappearance. As an irresponsible psuedo-journalist, would you like to speculate unreasonably about where Knight could be?

It's my belief that Knight has been abducted by aliens. These aliens are conspiring, along with Lehigh coach Billy Taylor, to create a super-basketball-team the likes of which we haven't seen since 1996's Space Jam.

But why Joe Knight, Mr. B? Couldn't the aliens find someone with a better shooting percentage or who didn't wear a goofy headband?

Well, Nancy, my hypothesis is that the aliens are also putting together a track and field team, and hoped they could kill two birds with one stone, as Knight was all-state back in high school. Also, they might be trying to bolster their alien baseball team as there was a Joe Knight who hit .312 for the Cincinnati Reds back in the 19th century.

A very interesting case, and an interesting man. Thanks for your time, Matt.

Always a pleasure, Nance. Send my love to little Jimmy and Ann. The truth is out there.  @ 10:41 AM